Honor Flight

Honor Flight

Dr Gordon had told me to call him if my knee still hurt after the swelling went down and he would order an MRI. After a couple of weeks, it was clear that my knee was not going to heal quickly. It was still swollen. I was wearing the brace, and struggling with pain, lost range of motion, and a limp. I was determined to be ready to walk all over D.C. with my dad for the Stars and Stripes Honor Flight on Oct 14th, but I wanted to know what was going on with my knee before the trip.
I had the MRI on Oct. 3rd and scheduled a follow up with the doctor on Oct 11th. Dr Gordon came in to the room and told me that my MRI “threw him for a loop.” He pushed and pulled on my knee again, just to make sure it still felt stable and that “he wasn’t an idiot” (his words). He said he never misses this type of injury upon physical examination. Yet, the MRI told him quite a different story from the physical exam. The MRI showed that I had a complete PCL (posterior cruciate ligament) tear in my knee. That can’t be good. I have experience with complete ligament tears (elbow and rotator cuff), and I know that they do not heal on their own. My first sinking though was, “one more surgery.” After all, the PCL is the strongest ligament in the knee. How can I get through life without a PCL? He did not suggest surgery, though. Instead, he said I should do six weeks of physical therapy to see if I can heal without surgery. That blew my mind a little.

While we were there, Andy took the opportunity to ask him about his foot. Right away, he told him that Andy had his least favorite injury. He said that if Andy was his patient, he would put him in a cast for 6 weeks. For now, he advised that Andy wear the boot 24/7. Andy decided to schedule his own appointment with Dr. Gordon.
Before we left, I asked him if my knee could handle a day of walking around D.C. He was fully supportive of the trip, and told me to thank my dad for his service.
By the 14th, I was feeling strong enough to go on the Honor Flight. I figured I would be able to keep up with 150 WWII Vets. I might have been wrong about that assumption, though. The day was very fast paced and we did a ton of walking. We saw all of these memorials in one day!


Arlington National Cemetery
Air Force Memorial
Pentagon Memorial
Korean War Memorial
Lincoln Memorial
Vietnam Memorial
WWII Memorial
FDR Memorial

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I’m so glad I got the chance to go on the Honor Flight. It was one of the most memorable days I’ve had with my dad. We were pretty tired out by the end of the trip, but the homecoming at the airport gave us a boost of energy. I’ll always treasure that day.

 

 

 

New Year, New Chapter

New Year, New Chapter

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Goodbye 2014. You taught me a lot. I learned to get beyond my personal limitations. I learned to see the important things and set aside the unimportant or harmful. The highs were higher, and the lows were lower. I learned that I am stronger than I thought, and I learned that I am weaker than I thought, too. Everything was simply MORE. Than usual. Of course, that could just be my perspective, having had a look into the face of my own mortality.

Early in the year, when this journey still held so much of the unknown, I was not sure I would live to see another year. Dreams put off would be forever lost. Fears of leaving my young children behind were prescient. Regrets for not getting to the doctor earlier would never change the path for me, no matter how much I wanted it to change. I simply had to follow this path, one day at a time, trusting that the doctors would get me through to see another year.

What a difference a year makes. 2014 was the first year in a long time that I didn’t work myself into the ground, physically, putting off healthy habits in exchange for the need to work. Hard. Cancer was my rude wake up call. I was forced to turn my focus to reclaiming my health, whatever that took. Reclaiming healthy habits needed to be my number one priority. I made it. I am now at the conclusion of my active treatment against cancer. I can say that I am a cancer survivor, currently living with No Evidence of Disease. Now, on this first day of a new year, I am shifting my reflections towards the next chapter.

This New Year’s holds a different significance for me. I’m not one to make resolutions (that we all know won’t be kept). But I will take the opportunity to symbolically close a tough chapter, a chance to start a whole new chapter. I admit that I feel a bit lost and not sure what this new chapter will entail. I do know that I want to embrace it, and live life as fully as I can, not putting off dreams anymore to a future that may or may not come, not letting fears or hang-ups stop me. I want to find a bigger purpose for my life, a way to give back, to help other women who are facing this journey.

Andy and I have been brainstorming a lot about ways to raise funds for the programs that helped me along the way. There seem to be a lot of resources and support for women who are actively undergoing treatment, but at the end of the day, when treatment is done, lots of women are left feeling lost, depressed, suffering from PTSD and facing fears of recurrence. Most of the foundations raising funds for Breast Cancer have a strong focus on awareness, early detection, self exams and regular mammograms. That did not help me. I did not detect my cancer early. My regular mammograms did not detect my cancer at all. I never knew that there was a type of breast cancer that was not found by mammography. If I had waited until my next mammogram, I might not be here today to start this new chapter.  With this New Year, I received the gift of a second chance. I hope to make it a great one!

Happy 2015.